Here's Theresa's review this week! (I highlighted my favorite parts :-)
VIDEO REVIEW
This week we focused on conscience. Romans 2:14-15 says, “Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law, since they show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts now accusing, now even defending them.” This passage points to the fact that even if someone had never heard or read God’s word, there is a law written in each human heart which we call our conscience. This is why we see young children start making excuses for a wrong they did before we even say anything about it. As soon as our babies start moving we see this at work as they go toward something they should not be touching then look back at us to see if we are watching them. Our children’s consciences are great tools for teaching them God’s word and to discern right from wrong when we aren’t around to tell them.
Dr. Tripp gave examples from the Bible where Jesus appealed to the consciences of those he was speaking with to make a point and to let that person judge their own actions. The first set of examples he gave us came from the book of Matthew. In Matthew 21:23 a group of Pharisees asks Jesus by what authority he was teaching in the Temple courts. Jesus responded by asking them some questions and then telling them a group of parables. The first was about two sons found in Matthew 21:28-32. “What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work today in the vineyard.’ “‘I will not,’ he answered, but later he changed his mind and went. “Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, ‘I will, sir,’ but he did not go. “Which of the two did what his father wanted?” “The first,” they answered. Jesus said to them, “I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. For John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe him.” He then told them another parable in Matthew 21:33-41. “Listen to another parable: There was a landowner who planted a vineyard. He put a wall around it, dug a winepress in it and built a watchtower. Then he rented the vineyard to some farmers and went away on a journey. When the harvest time approached, he sent his servants to the tenants to collect his fruit. “The tenants seized his servants; they beat one, killed another, and stoned a third. Then he sent other servants to them, more than the first time, and the tenants treated them the same way. Last of all, he sent his son to them. ‘They will respect my son,’ he said. “But when the tenants saw the son, they said to each other, ‘This is the heir. Come, let’s kill him and take his inheritance.’ So they took him and threw him out of the vineyard and killed him. “Therefore, when the owner of the vineyard comes, what will he do to those tenants?” “He will bring those wretches to a wretched end,” they replied, “and he will rent the vineyard to other tenants, who will give him his share of the crop at harvest time.” Jesus ends the discussion with the Pharisees by saying, “Therefore I tell you that the kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people who will produce its fruit.” (Matthew 21:43). And then the account tells us, “When the chief priests and the Pharisees heard Jesus’ parables, they knew he was talking about them. They looked for a way to arrest him, but they were afraid of the crowd because the people held that he was a prophet.” (Matthew 21:45). Basically, this is an example of how Jesus used parables to appeal to the consciences of the Pharisees who did not believe in Him. By telling these parables and asking them questions, He gave them the opportunity to judge for themselves, proving they knew what was true and right whether they decided to follow it or not. In this example, the Pharisees did not repent, but continued to pursue Jesus and have him arrested.
Dr. Tripp them told a story about a boy at his church who had stolen money from the offering plate. The boy’s father brought his son to him and had the boy give back the $2. He told the boy that the issue wasn’t with the $2, the church would surely survive without it, but the concern was with his heart. Instead of simply reprimanding the child, Dr. Tripp told him about God’s mercy and forgiveness. He told the boy the fact that he got caught was actually an act of mercy on God’s part because he now had the opportunity to repent, ask God’s forgiveness and see God’s mercy and love. At this point the child’s conscience was weighing heavily on him and he began to cry. He then reached into his pocket, took out $20 and gave it to his pastor. Until that point, the child seemed unfeeling and unrepentant. It wasn’t until God’s grace, mercy, forgiveness and God’s desire for pure hearts was spoken of that the child’s conscience brought him to repentance.
Dr. Tripp shared a few more parables Jesus used to appeal to the conscience. My favorite is the parable found in Luke 7:36-46. “Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.” Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.” “Tell me, teacher,” he said. “Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled.” “You have judged correctly,” Jesus said. Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.” He helped Simon see his sinful thoughts by giving him an example that related to the situation they were in at that moment and letting Simon thus judge his own thoughts by using his conscience to understand what was right. In Luke 10:25-37 (please read) Jesus uses the parable of the Good Samaritan to answer the question, “Who is my neighbor?” to someone who limited his love only to fellow Jews. In Matthew 18:21-35 he used a parable about a man who was shown mercy when he owed money to his master, but then did not display the same mercy to someone who owed him money to answer the question, “How many times must I forgive my brother?” Again, please read this whole parable. In each of these examples, there was someone trying to justify sinful or selfish thoughts or rationales, but Jesus used parables and questions to point them to the truth that they held inside their own consciences.
To finalize the discussion, Dr. Tripp discussed the importance of using the word of God to appeal to the conscience. Our children will negotiate and debate us until our faces turn blue and without the word of God it is very hard to defend what we know to be right and true. He gave the example of TV programs or movies that are inappropriate for our children. Without God’s word there would be a limitless debate to what is acceptable, why and to what extent we need to be careful. But God’s word is very clear in Ephesians 5:3-7, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” If our children thought our standards were “unfair”, just wait till they hear what God, their creator has to say about it! When we see our children speaking disrespectfully or being malicious to each other, we can use Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” When our children are fighting, James 3:17-18 is a great tool: “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.” Dr. Tripp points out that using God’s word and appealing to conscience may bring healthy guilt and desire to repent to our children without manipulating guilt like some examples we have seen in previous sessions.
QUESTIONS/ DISCUSSION
1. How do we use the examples that are provided to us where Jesus appeals to the Pharisee’s consciences, but they still do not repent?
2. Can you think of any examples of when you were caught doing something wrong as a child? How did it change you?
3. If we have consciences, why do we also need God’s word?
We had a great, thought provoking discussion this week. I loved how Dr. Tripp told the boy who had stolen from the offering plate that getting caught was actually an act of mercy and an opportunity for him to see God’s grace and forgiveness if he chose to repent. I want to use this more in my parenting. To answer the first question, one of the moms told a story of when she was 5 years old and stole a sticker from a store. When her mother discovered it, she made her go back to the store, confess what she had done to the owner and give the sticker back. Even though she may have been a little young to fully understand repentance, she felt so badly that she never stole again.
When I was about 5 or 6 I had gotten into the habit of lying. One night my family was having popsicles and my mom asked me to choose a color. I chose white which my mom knew I wouldn’t like so she suggested another color. I insisted on white and promised her that I would like it. She told me ok, but I’d better eat it. Well, after a few licks I realized my mom was right, so I threw it away. When my mom saw I wasn’t eating a popsicle anymore she asked me where it was. My first inclination was to lie and tell her I had eaten it, or the cat got hold of it. Instead, I told her the truth. I expected reprimanding, a scolding and maybe even punishment. Instead my mom wrapped her arms around me, gave me a huge hug and whispered, “Thank you for telling the truth.” That moment truly changed me. I was able to see grace, forgiveness and feel the desire for true repentance out of love and thankfulness rather than selfish means or fear of punishment.
I pray that God would help me be an example of his grace and forgiveness to my children like my mom was to me in this example so I can teach them that getting caught truly is an act of mercy on God’s part. Next we hit the hard question about the Pharisees and how we can expect our children to respond when we appeal to their conscience if the Pharisees didn’t even respond to Jesus’s appeal. The important thing to remember here is that human hearts are deceitful. As we have seen from verses discussed in previous sessions, our hearts are full of pride, deceit, etc. So without our hearts being shaped to love and serve our God, our consciences will only bring us so far. While listening to the radio, I heard Chuck Colson talk about the recent shooting that happened in the Netherlands. He talked about the culture in that country and how it is mainly secular and very atheistic. Because of this, they have a very different view of humanity and evil than we as Christians do. He said their jails were more like hospitals than the jails we have in America, and when he visited one, he asked the warden how many of the prisoners were insane. Her answer was “They all are. You’d have to be insane to do the things they have done.” Her answer displayed the line of thinking that says, humans are intrinsically good, so someone who does evil must be mentally ill. This line of thinking goes directly against the gospel which says humans are intrinsically evil and we need a savior, which was provided to us through Jesus Christ. The view of the warden gives the prisoners no chance for repentance, redemption, or experiencing God’s forgiveness and grace. How could you ask for forgiveness if you are just mentally ill, and your actions had nothing to do with your heart? This is an example of why we cannot only rely on our consciences. Without God, His word, His grace and His mercy, the conscience can be deceived and humans will justify their actions. Our desire is to have children whose hearts are focused on God and the desire to please Him. We can use the appeal to the conscience to help this happen, but they need to go hand in hand. And of course, like in each session, this method must start with us. We cannot appeal to our children’s consciences if we are not listening to our own in our daily lives. If we are judging others, how can we expect our children to show mercy? If we are holding grudges, how can we expect our children to show forgiveness? If we point the finger and make excuses, how can we expect our children to take responsibility for their actions?
HOMEWORK
This week, we actually have two homework assignments. The first is to read the parables discussed in this session. If your children are old enough to understand them, read the parables to them and then ask them the same questions Jesus asked those he was addressing. If your children are too young to fully understand the way the parables are worded, then re-tell them in a way they can understand and ask them the questions to go along with them. Take the time to talk to them about their consciences and how, with the help of God’s word and His holy spirit, they can seek what is right in every situation.
The second assignment this week is to come away from an act of disobedience displayed by your children or an ethical question that is brought up, and look to God’s word for a verse or parable to use in the situation. You probably won’t have it on hand at the moment, but you can always look it up after the fact and then discuss it with your children. You can even anticipate an attitude or situation that your children have had an issue with lately and look up verses to use this week when you come across that same behavior. Write down the verses you choose, and try to memorize them – even encourage your children to memorize them. Bring the verse(s) you have found to the next meeting so we can all share them. If you are receiving this review in the blog, I’d love to hear what verses you find and share them with the rest of the group. To make it easier to find a verse, feel free to use the internet. My favorite site for searching verses is biblecc.com. I look forward to hearing (and using) the verses everyone comes up with!
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