This brings me to another point. My humor. This is my disclaimer: if anything confuses you or rubs you the wrong way, I apologize. Chances are it's just me trying to be funny. I complain to my husband from time-to-time about how people take my dry sense of humor too literally. Or people don't make the connections I mean to imply. Once, at the end of a particularly misunderstood-humor week, Dave said to me, "I'm beginning to think you're sense of humor (long pause as he searches for a delicate way to put it) just doesn't make sense." Pshhh!!! The nerve. Ahhh... we're perfect for each other!
Anyway, I've written about my attempted crafts, recipes, and kid ideas ... but the fact of the matter is that I can't be a housewife unless I am a wife. And if I'm not a good wife (or attempting to be a good wife ;-) what kind of a housewife would I be? I ran into a few articles this past week that encouraged me with my role as wife, so I've decided to share them with you.
Inspiration #1:
"The two sit on the porch and as a train goes by they count the cars. They also watch the neighbors who walk by." - Liz Bowles/Sun Journal
Meet Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher. Aren't they precious? This is the couple from North Carolina that has been married for 84 years. I mean, think about that. EIGHTY-FOUR YEARS HOLY COW!!! Their daughter sent their stats in for recognition in the Guiness Book of World Records. They were rewarded with a plaque and a bunch of interviews. Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm more impressed with the length of their marriage or the fact that they are both still alive. I love that everyone is asking them for their sage advice, and Herbert just says, "Oh, you know-- she never gave me any problems." And Zelmyra says, "He keeps quiet..." I love it! And all these psychologists and marriage counselors are trying to analyze the bejeebers out of their relationship and their astrological signs and blah, blah, blah.
There's got to be more to it than women behaving and men being quiet, right? This is my simple analysis about the secret to being married this long (based on the articles I've read about these two):
1. They had low-to-realistic expectations
2. They were good friends; respected, trusted and accepted one another
3. They agreed to disagree about certain things (they went to different churches, and he watches baseball alone)
4. They believed in something bigger than themselves (they were both Christians). Christians (preaching to myself) should be striving towards biblical principals and attributes such as: faith in God, faithfulness to one another, hope, love, respect, eternal perspective (ie: squeezing the toothpaste from the middle of the tube isn't such a big deal in the grand scheme of things). All of which both please God and bring peace and joy to our relationships.
5. As one commenter put it, "black don't crack." :-)
Inspiration source #2:
My parents got Dave and me a subscription to Thriving Family magazine this year. We received a copy of it this past week and there was this article in it by Ginger Kolbaba.
Time Out for Two: Creating connections to strengthen your marriage
These are some little things you can do each day to invest in your relationship. And I paraphrase...
1 minute. Basically, say something nice to eachother. I decided that even if Dave forgets, I'm still going to say nice things to him. (I'll probably remind him to say something nice about me though. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I will...)
5 minutes. Pray together. It's intimate and it centers you back on what's really important. And God actually listens so make it good. (Okay- that's not even a paraphrase- I'm writing my own article, here!)
15 minutes. This is for alone time. Mmmm Hmm. The article suggested spending time together before hanging out with the kids, or carving out time for a date night each week/month (Hopefully a date longer than 15 minutes!) Dave has made it a habit to kiss me every day when he gets home from work and we chat brieflly about our day before J.P. drags him off to play. I sortof love that.
Alright! I'm going to go cut Dave's hair right now while he's sitting still watching TV. (Should take at least 15 minutes... CHECK!) ;-) Goodnight!
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